Chicago Mayor-Elect Brandon Johnson warned that after Walmart announced its plans to close four store locations in dangerous Chicago neighborhood, many Chicagoans will have fewer opportunities to shoplift.

Johnson said that citizens of this great city had the right to steal goods in their own neighborhoods without having to travel to other communities. He made the statement at a protest against store closures. If our youth don’t have a place where they can work, shoplift, loot and fight, or terrorize their neighbors and smash windows because there is no safe space, then they might resort to more risky shoplifting, drug consumption and looting in affluent areas, where the cops are less likely to bother arresting them. We cannot let this happen!

Walmart executives insisted that the decision was not personal. Darnell Monahan, district manager Darnell’s, said: “We are tired of seeing our store greeters and cashiers getting beaten up. Every store is losing millions.” We’d rather our employees not be beaten up, robbed and other stuff. Sorry!”

Civil rights leaders warned at the time of publication that, if Walmart went through with this move, it would encourage Americans to boycott Walmart.